My Journey to Home Ownership
I QUIT!! I’m over this. Maybe I’m trying to move faster than I’m ready to move. I’m in over my head. Maybe home buying just isn’t for me. These are thoughts I have just about every day. Thoughts I must conquer and redirect. You see, at the end of last year, I was overcome with this strong desire to buy a home for Jasiah and me. Although I knew I wanted to eventually buy a house, I didn’t think I’d buy one any time soon. The desire was so strong, I decided to voice it to one of my pastors. I knew once I told him, he wouldn’t allow me to talk myself out of it. Plus, I knew he would make sure I was in a good financial situation before I jumped in over my head.
The funny thing about all of this is: I’m JUST at the beginning! (Don’t laugh!) I had this idea of what home buying would be like but, of course, it isn’t going as planned. In such a short time, I’ve realized the mistakes I made as a young(er) adult are coming back to haunt me! Mistakes I made called student loans. If I knew then what I know now, I would have done things completely different. (Like worked harder or not borrowed so much.) It took me a while but I now realize, student loans are not my friend (or yours). If they aren’t NEEDED, don’t get them. Period.
Another frustration is I’ve heard ‘no’ more times than I’ve wanted to hear it. You see, I like to know exactly how things will work out and each step in the plan to reach my end goal. Well this process isn’t going according to MY plan and I don’t quite have a backup plan. That completely overwhelms me. I try to pretend like it doesn’t, you know, because I’m a big girl and all. But truthfully, I’m not doing such a great job pretending. Everything about this process, so far, is currently out of my hands, which is scary and nerve-wrecking. I don’t have answers to any of my questions. I don’t know when or how. But what I do know is I’ve previously witnessed God show up in ways I’ve never imagined. This gives me comfort in knowing this time isn’t out of His hands.
Being a follower of Christ doesn’t mean everything will fall in your lap and things will be easy and stress free all the time. It means there will be an insane level of peace during your trial, if you surrender it all to Him. In times like these, I rely on what He has done for me already and I find rest in knowing He hears me and He sees me. So, whatever you’re facing or hoping for, remember that you are not alone. God knows the desires of your heart. He placed them there. And in due time, He will give you more than you can ever ask or imagine. Keep hoping. Keep believing and never stop praying.
We can run this race together, praying and believing for the desires God has placed in us. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring or what the next step will be for me (or you) but what I do know is God is faithful. Stand on His Word. He sees you. He hears you.